It isn't just a country song about love. It's actually a deep and fantastic question to ponder, especially for those searching for that special someone. Looking for love in all the wrong places? Whats the story? Casual dating? No. Such. Thing.
There’s nothing casual, about casual dating. People are living in a dreamland hoping it works out. Intellectually, no one would just decide on a place to live because they took a tour of the outside yard. Even if they went into the house and looked around. Even if they lived in the house for a while...they still wouldn't decide to move there. They would have skipped a crucial step by asking a simple question. Where do you want to live??
My clients make a similar error all the time when looking for their life partner. They don't clarify the important attributes in the person they are looking for. But more importantly, they never stopped to get to know themselves and ask the bigger questions in life.
Who are you? What are you main qualities? Challenges? What type of person would compliment you? What type of pitfalls are you susceptible to falling in head over heals? What lessons have you learned from you past? How are you using those lessons as springboards for the future? What is stopping you from achieving your goals?
This crucial step to self knowledge opens the door to self love, not in the narcissistic way. One must nurture themselves, appreciate themselves, and truly like themselves as an imperfect person before they attempt to love someone else. Below you can find the transcript to the insightful rant in the video above.
I'll also leave this link to my course which has a quick crash course in dating that offers a much deeper approach to dating and another course that guides you through a journey to your internal selfie.
Looking for love in all the wrong places? Okay...but WHAT are you looking for? WHO are you looking for? You’re looking for Some One. WHERE you look matters, yes. But knowing WHO you’re looking for should be starting point. What qualities are important to you?
Hard working? Driven? Successful? Wealthy? ......At what cost? What about thoughtful? Kind? Giving? Caring? Honest?
What attributes are compatible with your personality? Outgoing? Extravert? Life of the party? What about...good listener? Sensitive to the feelings of others?
Beautiful? Good physique? .....What about good character? Humble?
Intelligent? Brilliant? .....What about patience? And understanding?
Mr. & Mrs. Perfect? Or perhaps …. Mr. & Mrs. Imperfect?
Before you can love someone else, you first have to love yourself.
Before you can love yourself, you first have to know who you are.
Why not begin?